The Promise of No

We learn it before we toddle. No. It comes with a frown and sometimes a wag of the finger. It sounds sharper, louder. No. The fun stops here.

And so it goes, through childhood, adolescence, young adulthood. No. You can’t stay up late, you can’t go out tonight, you can’t drink yet. No. All that you want seems to live on the other side of ‘No.’ It is, by definition, negative, but I think it also gets a bad rap.

In the big, bad, scary real world, ‘No’ is the engine of progress. The route to the next big thing pauses, more often than not, on ‘No’ before moving forward. Does your boss like this design, this idea, this proposal? No? Don’t fret. 

For an adult, ‘No’ is transformed. The ‘No’ of work is in some cases a statement of belief. We can do better. You can do better. 

At work, I say ‘No’ a lot. It’s entirely possible that I have a reputation for being impossible as a result. I don't particularly care. There are times that ‘No’ wears me out as much as the people to whom I’m saying it. Often, it would be easier to say ‘Yes, let’s do it.’ But I know that on the other side of one more ‘No,’ there’s something bigger, better, faster, more effective. It’s where we need to be, so ‘No’ it is yet again.

Over the past handful of months, I’ve worked on a project that has been beset with many ‘No’s along the way. I have returned to the drawing board more times than I can count. It’s also been one of the most rewarding projects of my career. To work with people who care enough to say ‘No,’ who believe in what we are doing and our collective ability to do better has been challenging, empowering, and exciting. It has been a gift. We’re inching closer to the Promised Land of ‘Yes,’ but it’s all of the ‘No’s along the way that will make ‘Yes’ especially sweet.

So the next time your project merits a ‘No,’ sigh, curse under your breath (or out loud if that’s more your style), then take a deep breath, square your shoulders, and have at it again. Because that ‘No’ is really a promise of a great ‘Yes’ that’s lingering around the corner.